Thursday, July 7, 2011

Ahh, dating ...

I haven't blogged in a while.  I am not totally sure why but there are reasons.  I mean, I am quite busy.  My fragrance line is launching soon.  My book deal is happening.  And I happen to be starring in a Nigerian sitcom that is yet to be named.  Sue me for having a life.

But there is definitely something that I need to get off my chest.  I go to a lot of weddings.  Legitimately, I average 9 weddings a year.  I find that fantastic (except for the whole flying to, paying for hotel rooms and gifts [which my friends these days rarely get], and other accoutrements of weddings)!  I love all my friends and I am seriously more than thrilled that they have found partners to spend their life with!  However, my dating life is less than thrilling.

I find myself intelligent.  I have given myself IQ tests and I know it is much higher than most Americans.  I also find myself quite attractive.  I am not sure if it is because I have looked at my mug in the mirror the past 29 years, but I think there is something more attractive than the typical human being.  Conceited?  Probably. Do i care? No.

Here is my commentary on the previous:  Almost all of my friends have told me that I am nice, smart and attractive.  They often question me saying "how is it possible you are single?"  Or, "you are so cute, you will find someone some day".  I must admit, this is heady, enjoyable conversation.  But do my friends really mean it?  We have all told people that they are cute, in shape or nice because it was the right thing to do.  Don't lie to yourself.  You know you have done that.  My question is, can you ever be 100% sure that your friends are telling you the truth?

This is a strange article to write because most people will think I am writing this to get compliments on my looks or personality.  In fact, it is more of an open discussion on why we feel it is important to tell people that they are cute or have an awesome personality.  The fact is, I might not find a boyfriend or a partner, and quite frankly, I may end up single.  I had a date tonight who I thought was adorable, nice and smart.  He texted me and said 'we would be great friends'.  Can I fault him?  No. Do I want to? Yes.  Perhaps I was not what he was looking for, which is totally his prerogative, but I have to admit I am quite sick of people telling me that I will find someone "soon".

I have to admit, I still feel like Carrie Bradshaw and I hope that one day a Mr. Big will waltz into my life, but I have to say I will probably be less open about my dating life.  

Maybe I won't find someone.  And I think that we as friends should stop telling our friends that "they will find someone some day", when in actuality they might not.

I hope all my friends do end up happy, but it may not be in the cards for everyone.  


  1. I still think you are attractive, hilarious and totally do-able (and I'm not just saying that to say that, because, well, frankly I'm an asshole and don't say nice things unless I mean them). You (we) will find someone one day. And until then, just enjoy being single and fabulous. Xoxo

  2. Hi buddy, as they say good things happen to those who wait. Pretty sure the right guy is out there somewhere for you but as Lisa said enjoy being single for now. Being in a relationship isn't everything and I for one sometimes really miss being single.

  3. I only found a boyfriend when I was absolutely determined to be single. Love will find you when you least expect it. Cliche, yes, but so true. And you are a hottie and totally fabulous! XX

  4. I actually agree with you that not everyone will find "that perfect someone." And I know quite a few people who are perfectly content without that someone.

    But I truly believe that if you want to be in a committed relationship or get married one day, it will probably happen for you. Most people I know who wanted to get married...well, they are either married or are in the process of getting married. Takes a lil patience, perseverance, positive attitude...just like how you got that Nigerian sitcom.

  5. I don’t think it is a question of whether or not your friends are telling you the truth but rather are they true friends? Loved ones come and go. We have no control over our love lives even though we would like to think that we do. Live in the present and enjoy your true friends even when they are lying to you. Truth is the love of your life could be right around the corner, no one really knows for sure!

  6. Don't worry so much about it, Craig! Dating in the Big Apple can be overwhelming. If you just on living your life and getting out there, you will probably meet someone when you least expect it. Best way to find someone compatible is to spend time doing the things you love. Lucky, there's plenty of different hobbies to be had in NYC.

  7. cheers, friend. couldn't agree more with this post.